The Strength of a Heart
by lightningpelt
Summary: InuYasha has always struggled with his inner demons. Kikyo... Kagome... when the stakes are raised drastically, to what lengths will InuYasha go to protect his heart from such anguish? Please read and review! InuxKag. FINALLY FINISHED :')
1. Chapter 1 Protection

**(A/N) Hey there, people(s)!! This is chapter one of my brandy new angst fanfic, the strength of a heart. This first chappy is kinda fluffy, but it's only setting the stage for much more dramatic things to come! You all need to know: I am firmly InuxKag, and this fic was very hard to write because of it. No matter what happens, I will always remain InuxKag. I have nothing against Kikyo, but I believe that the Kikyo made of bones and grave soil is not the real Kikyo; this allows me to hate the current Kikyo. Anyway, I hope you (all?) enjoy** **"The Strength of a Heart." **

**I do not own InuYasha. The only thing I own is the story line of this FANfiction. Major emphasis on FAN! **

"Where are we going, InuYasha?" Kagome asked me, confused.

I had been tracking a completely different scent, with Kagome on my back, when this one had presented itself.

"I've got Naraku's scent." I announced, but I didn't tell my friends all of it. _Right next to Naraku's scent,_ I thought,_ is Kikyo's scent! I won't let him hurt her!! _

"I'm going to speed up!" I called.

"How far away is he?" Miroku asked from where he sat on Kirara.

"Not far," I answered shortly. _Please don't let us be too late! _I pushed even harder, feeling that my feet barley touched the ground.

I skidded into the clearing, every nerve in my body electric with the need to help the woman I had given my heart to so long ago. They were both there: Kikyo and Naraku. The Naraku was not a golem; he held Kikyo with human hands, his hideous tentacles snaking up. Kikyo had her bow half-drawn, but was held in such a way that she couldn't complete the action. Her head swiveled to face me.

The glittering ferocity in her eyes almost made my heart stop. For a moment, I forgot about Naraku. I forgot about Miroku and Sango and Shippo and Kirara. I even forgot about Kagome on my back. There was nothing but her.

Naraku's chuckle broke my trance.

"Just in time to see the woman you love die again, InuYasha!" he jabbed forward with one tentacle.

"Nooo!" I howled. I barely felt Kagome slip from my back and land with a thud as I lunged forward. Kikyo released her arrow; it cut Naraku and released a cloud of miasma.

"Kikyo!" I yelled, plunging into the sickening black cloud and ripping Naraku's tentacles off her sham body. I charged out of the miasma- carrying Kikyo along –and scrambled back to the group. I set her down beside where Kagome still sat on the ground, glaring at me. I still didn't fully grasp why she was angry.

I drew Tetsusaiga and waited for the miasma to clear. When it did, Naraku was gone.

"Feh," I slid Tetsusaiga back into its scabbard and turned to face Kikyo. I was genuinely surprised to see Kagome, her face an inch away from mine, glaring daggers at me.

"Kagome…?" I asked, genuinely puzzled but increasingly apprehensive about what I might have done this time.

"You dropped me." she growled.

"Huh…? Wait… what?" memory finally dawned on me. "Oh… oh crap."

"Sit."

What I had been about to say was smothered by a mouthful of dirt as the magic beads around my neck drove me into the ground.

"Damn it, woman, I didn't mean to!" I snapped, mortified that Kikyo was watching this.

"Idiot!" yelled Kagome. "Sit! Sit sit sit sit sit!!!"

I felt smaller and smaller as I was dragged further into the ground. I pried my face out of the mud in time to see Kagome stomping off into the trees.

"You did drop her quite soundly, you know…" Miroku offered.

"Shut up." I snapped. "You're not helping."

Kikyo sat watching this. _She was the priority,_ I decided. _Kagome wouldn't listen to anything said, anyway_. I peeled myself rather painfully off the ground and walked over to Kikyo. I stooped down and took her hand, and looped my arm around her waist. Having her so close was heavenly, even if her scent was heavy with bones and grave-soil.

"I thank you," she said with grace and aloofness. "I must pursue him now."

"No!" I objected. "You can't! I won't let you!"

"I must." She insisted, maintaining the same distant air. She reached up and touched my face, then swiveled away from me and began to stalk off.

"Wait!" I ran after her.

I grabbed her shoulder, forcing her to look at me. Then, I gripped her tight, holding her to my chest.

"No," I growled softly. "No, I can't let you go after him alone." I gripped her hands, though my own were trembling. "He can't have you again!"

Kikyo bowed her head.

"If you wish it so, I will accompany you, for a time, at least."

"Thank you," I whispered into her fragrant hair. "Thank you for letting me protects you."

**(A/N) OK! How was it?! Please tell me by… WRITING A REVIEW!! If you do, I will give you little hints of things to come!! And here is a free-be: they are very dark and dramatic, and they are **_**very **_**worth reading! So please review and keep up with the story!! **


	2. Chapter 2 Two Girls One Hanyou, No Peace

**(A/N) Next chappy is here!! I really tried to get this up today because I'm not going to be able to update until next weekend, probably. If you want some clues before then, review! Things start to go downhill for poor InuYasha in this chappy. I hope you like it!! **

**Thanks to my wonderful reviewer Lily-chan818!! **

_Where in all the hells is she?! _

I paced back and forth around the fire. Kagome still hadn't come back, and it was almost dark. By the time I had thought to look for her, the scent had already faded. And I _couldn't _leave Kikyo to go blundering aimlessly through the forest. Now it was getting dark, and Kagome was still out there somewhere. A thousand horrible images flashed into my head. I moaned and, gripping my head as if to ease a headache, slumped to the ground. I crouched there, in physical pain at the thought of all the horrible things that could have happened. _And it's all my fault! _

Then, Kagome's scent flooded my senses, and I glanced up to see her push her way through the bushes. She looked exhausted. I sprang up and ran to her, half frantic with relief.

"Where have you been?" I asked. "Are you alright!? You look--"

"Sit." Kagome sighed tireredly. (is that a word? My spell-check doesn't think so…)

"Mph!" the exclamation was stifled by the ground. I wrenched myself up. "But… What??"

"Sit!" she snapped with sudden energy. "Sit sit sit sit sit SIT! SitSitSitSitSitSitSit SIT!!!"

I couldn't move. I was practically embedded in the soil, and my back throbbed painfully. It felt like I'd pulled something in my neck, too. I groaned softly as I worked my poor body upright.

Kagome was sitting by the fire, her arms folded and her arms crossed. Miroku, Sango and Shippo were all looking on with wide eyes. I looked at them helplessly; I had no idea what to do.

So I went to sit down.

_Between_ Kagome and Kikyo.

"Ooh, gutsy move," I heard Miroku murmur to Sango. I shot him a killing glare, making a note to flay him first chance I got.

An awkward silence made its home at our little fire. The half-moon climbed higher and higher. No one dared move, least of all me. I felt like my heart was being torn in two by the two women sitting beside me. On the one hand, I wanted to hold Kagome and make sure she was really alright, and _make up_ with her. On the other, I wanted to cling to Kikyo, kiss her, savor every moment I had with her. But, of course, I did neither.

Finally, Miroku stood up, breaking the silence suddenly and completely.

"Wow, it's getting really late."

"Ya," Sango affirmed. "We should all get some sleep. I'll take the first watch."

"No, I will," I said quickly. I _needed_ to get away for a while.

"Oh… ok…" Sango was quite confused, but didn't object.

I hurriedly removed myself, almost making a complete idiot of myself by tripping over my own pant-leg. I barley saved myself from falling flat on my face. Flushing res with embarrassment, I leaped into the closest tree, if only to escape their gazes.

"Oh, just kill me," I grumbled as I took off through the trees.

I stopped when I could barely see the fire's light and all my friends' scents were whisked away by the wind. I crouched in the tree, curled into a small ball. _I did this to myself, _I reminded myself. _I dropped Kagome, and I invited Kikyo. All this is my fault. _

I don't know how long I sat there, self-destructive thoughts swirling in circles in my head, before I glanced back at the little camp. The fire had gone out.

_Crap, I'm supposed to be on guard! _I tore back through the trees, panic making my heart pound. I felt my whole body go weak with relief when I reached the clearing. Everyone was sleeping peacefully. I noted with a sinking heart that Kagome and Kikyo had opted to sleep on opposite sides of the clearing, as far away from each other as they could get. I sighed and crept to where Kagome lay. Her brow was furrowed with unpleasant dreams, but even then she looked beautiful. _How much pain am I causing her now? _

Kagome's startling, deep brown eyes flashed open and focused on me. My heart jolted violently at the look she gave me. I had never seen her look so scary.

"What are you doing here?!" the venom in her voice was unbelievable.

"I… I…" I stammered helplessly.

"Get away from me you fool!!" she spat at me, and I stumbled backwards form the sheer force of her gaze, my heart thumping erratically.

"Hey!" I growled defensively. "I came here to try and make amends!"

"Well you've failed! So leave! Just leave!!" she turned away from me as her voice broke on the last word. I felt pain and guilt worm their way into my heart. I reached out tentatively, but then clenched both my eyes and fist tight shut. I spun around and nearly ran over Kikyo on my way out of the clearing. She stood in the shadows, on the extreme edges of the clearing.

"It's not your fault."

They were the words I needed so desperately to hear, but they sounded wrong. Kikyo smiled.

"Kagome has no right to blame you."

Before I could react, Kikyo reached forward and pulled me into a tight embrace.

"Don't let her hurt you. _I_ won't let her hurt you." Her smoldering eyes met mine, and the look in them unnerved me; they had a murderous glint deep within them.

Wordlessly, I tore myself out of her arms and blundered into the forest, running, no _sprinting_, desperate to get away.

_You can have only one…_ a voice in my head spoke up. _You can't go on hurting them both…_

"Shut up!" I growled at my own thoughts. I knew it was true, though. I was only hurting both of the women I loved, and would go on hurting them both… until what? Until I chose which one to love and which one to cause even more pain? _But I can't do that to either of them!_ I had already caused Kikyo enough pain to last ten lifetimes; I couldn't add to that. But Kagome… how could I inflict that same pain on dear, sweet Kagome, who was so very close to my heart?

"Shut up!" I snarled at my own thoughts again.

I stopped running, panting with exertion. I felt a desperate need to hide, though I knew I couldn't hide from the demons that haunted me. I looked around and spotted a hollow tree that smelled of fungus and rot. I squeezed into it, curling myself into a tinier ball than I thought possible. I put my hands around my head in a desperate attempt to ease the pounding.

"No," I murmured, "No, no, no…" this was turning into a nightmare. I clenched one hand into a fist, and my own claws dug into my flesh. They bit into my hand, and I felt hot blood flow from four puncture wounds. The physical pain brought a very welcome relief from the emotional pain. It cleared my head, sending an icy wave of calm pounding through me. I dug my claws in deeper. It was that, and only that, that allowed me to tumble into a fitful sleep.

**(A/N) Ooh… shades of darker things to come! I hope you liked it!! If you want a hint as to what's going to happen next, please review!! In fact, please review anyway! See ya'll next time!! **


	3. Chapter 3 Roses' Blood

**(A/N) Hello!! I now know that at least two people like my story! Yay!! This next chap really helps move the story line along (the other two have just been setting the stage). Things really don't slow down from this point on. Crap, I'm putting off a really awkward phone call right now. How long can I keep typing? **

**Thank you to my TWO reviewers: Lily-chan and ****NinjaSheik!!! Yay!! **

***sigh* I do believe this has been established: I do not own InuYasha, though I am working on it!! **

Sunlight pierced the leafy canopy, waking me. I groaned; my muscles were so _stiff_ from sleeping curled up like this. I wriggled out of my little hollow, blinking up at the sun, dazed, still half-asleep. The sun was really high…

_Crap!_ I tore off in the direction of the small camp as soon as my brain caught up with my eyes. _It was almost noon??!_

As I ran, I fingered the scabs on my palm. Had that felt as good as I remembered it? The thought unnerved me.

I was greeted by half a dozen worried faces.

"We've been looking everywhere for you!" Miroku's voice was strained.

"Where have you been?" Sango looked close to panic. "Do you have any idea how worried we've been??"

"I'm here, I'm fine, now leave me alone." I growled, suddenly in a very bad temper. "Just shut up!"

Miroku and Sango looked stunned as I brushed angrily past them. But before I could get far, Kikyo pushed in front of me.

"Where have you been?" she asked softly.

I saw, over her shoulder, Kagome watching us closely. _Damn,_ I thought,_ it's too early to start this! I don't want to start this!_ Without meaning to, I clenched my fist, inadvertently breaking the scabs. I winced in pain, but the same icy calm flooded my mind. Blood dripped to the ground as my claws burrowed deeper into my hand.

"I need to be alone." The pain from my hand kept my voice steady as I pushed past Kikyo.

"I'm sorry, InuYasha, but we have to get going." Sango said. "I have no idea what kind of night- and morning –you've had, and I'm sorry if it was rough, but we've wasted enough time."

"Feh." I growled. "Fine. Come on Kago…" I trailed off as I spotted Kagome, already seated on Kirara. My heart plummeted.

"InuYasha, would you carry Lady Kikyo?" Miroku asked.

"Sure," I grunted, unsure of how I felt about it. Blood poured from my hand. I used my other hand to help Kikyo onto my back.

"I can run, if you would rather carry Lady Kagome," she whispered in my ear, her scent and feel assaulting my senses. To have her so close…! I shook my head violently to clear it, and clenched my fist as tight as I could. I hissed in pain as my talons cut through tendons and countless nerves.

"No, its fine." I growled quietly, the icy calm taking over my mind as I began to run. Kikyo snuggled into my back, and it was all I could do, even with my claws lodged in my palm, to keep my breathing steady.

That was the longest run of my life. I usually enjoyed running, but not this time. I tried to stay away from Kirara, but Kagome succeeded in catching my eye several times. Each look she shot me sent a lance through my heart. The pain in my hand wasn't working anymore. It kept my head clear and my breathing steady, yes, but it did next to nothing in terms of distracting me from the agony in my heart.

Kagome was furious at me, I knew. I couldn't really blame her for it, either. I saw that she was talking to Sango, and crept up behind Kirara, desperate to hear what she was saying. Sango was saying:

"…when you go back there?"

Kagome responded: "Oh, I usually just sit and think about him…"

That was all I heard. The unfortunate "sit" sent me and Kikyo to the ground. I tried to soften the fall for her as much as I could, but I had been running really fast, and the "sit" had caught me completely off guard. I was sent sprawling, my momentum carrying me head over heels a good dozen- or more -times. I came to a stop, half upside down, sprawled in the most awkward, uncomfortable position I have ever experienced. I had left Kikyo behind six and a-half summersaults ago. I groaned as I tried to right myself without, of course, using one hand.

"Darn it all…" I grunted softly as I tried to get my feet under me. Everything throbbed. I knew every part of me was going to be sore for days. I finally staggered up, swaying slightly and holding one hand to my temple, eyes closed. My head pounded almost unbearably. When I opened my eyes, the light sent sharp stabs of pain deep into my head. I winced and staggered backwards.

_Dang, why does it feel like I have a really bad hang over? _

Suddenly, the ground lurched under my feet.

"InuYasha?" a voice I couldn't identify bounced inside my skull. I moaned and clamped my hands over my ears, feeling blood there.

"InuYasha?" this time the horrendously loud voice was distorted and slow. I moaned as the ground shifted violently under me. Nausea seized me, and I tried not to throw up what little was in my stomach.

The ground didn't stay still again. It kept lurching and swaying and tipping this way and that. I couldn't stay standing. I lost my footing on the treacherous ground and fell; I wasn't even sure how I fell. If it was on my face, side, back or knees, I certainly didn't know. All I know is I _did _fall, it _did_ hurt like hell, and I _didn't_ maintain my precarious hold on conciseness.

_I found myself in a field of golden flowers. No, not flowers,_ roses_. They weren't yellow, they were _gold_! They were beautiful… _

_I reached out one hand to touch one. I cupped the flower in my hand, caressing its soft, velvety petals. Their beauty took my breath away. _

_A single drop of scarlet blood appeared on the glittering petal. I gazed at it as it began to grow, and then tickle down the side of the rose. _

Pain fired through my whole body, jolting me awake. My body felt stiff, partly due to the way I moaned and tried to move, but barley succeeded in opening my eyes. When I did, I wished I hadn't. I whimpered in pain and shut my eyes tightly against the blinding spears of light. I let go of consciousness again.

**(A/N) PLEASE review!! The more reviews I get, the faster I will update!! The fact that I got a second review today is the reason I was so motivated to update today! That and that one really awkward phone call! If you'd like a clue for the next chapter, please review!! By the way, I have never experienced a "really bad hangover", or a hangover of any kind. That analogy came from things I have read, like the fanfic "Guilty Hero", not from personal experience! I don't think InuYasha has ever experienced one, either, outside of "Guilty Hero"… hmmm… **

**See ya next time!! =^^=**


	4. Chapter 4 Sugar and Mixed Blood

**(A/N) Hi guys!! I am sooo sorry for the late update!! I really did try! Anyway, this chap is really good, and it kinda picks up the main story line, even though it doesn't actually start until the next one. I'm sorry if Kaede seems a little OOC, I don't know her character as well as everyone else's. **

**Thank you to my reviewers, Lily-chan818, NinjaSheik, and ****WerewolfVampireWriter. Yay!! Three this time!! **

**I do not own InuYasha!!! **

I felt like I was swimming through quicksand as I struggled toward consciousness. Not a very pleasant feeling. The scents of Kaede's hut hit me, mixed with Kagome and Ramen scents. My body ached almost unbearably. I moaned and tried to move, almost wishing for unconsciousness again. I heard Kagome shift on the floor; a set of hands began unwrapping something around my head. Pain shot through me as things brushed across my head. I winced.

"I'm sorry," Kagome's voice sounded slightly distorted to me. "If you can hear me, I'm sorry. I have to change these and clean your wound."

I couldn't respond. The only thing I was in control of- I thought –was my eyes, and I was wary of opening them again. Kagome swabbed at my head and I winced again, the liquid stinging. Kagome's hands were gentle as she wrapped my head. I stayed silent, not wanting to disturb her. Not that I could have moved if I had wanted to.

Suddenly, Kagome surprised me by leaning over me and pressing a quick, sweet kiss to my forehead. Then she sighed.

"I love you, you know." Then she laughed bitterly. "Not that I'll ever get the nerve to say that when you can actually hear me." she kissed me again. "I wish with all my heart that I could do that while you're awake."

I was stunned. Kagome got up and bustled out of the hut. I lay there, repeating her words over and over again in my head. She loved me. She_ loved_ me. She loved _me_! My heart suddenly felt so much lighter.

That's when Kikyo came in.

She moved quickly, closing the door quietly behind her. Even with my eyes closed, I could picture her gliding across the floor. She knelt down beside me.

"You poor, poor dear, so hurt like this." She took my head into her lap, stroking my hair. Shutters of pleasure passed involuntarily through my body. She drew me closer.

"It's all Kagome's fault, you know." She said gently. "She pretends to care about you, but she really couldn't care less." She kept stoking my hair.

My natural reaction to such words almost gave me away. I stifled my body's rebellion just in time to remain still.

"I heard her talking to Sango the other day," Kikyo continued, still stroking my hair. "She really can't stand you, you know." She sighed. "And then that blasted _witch_ has the nerve to act like she cares for you, maybe even loves you. I can't stand people like that, toying with other's emotions like." She leaned into me, her breath sweet on my face. "Guard yourself, InuYasha, and your heart. It will always belong to me, as I am forever yours." Kikyo bend and kissed me, but not like Kagome had. She kissed my on the lips, her rather cool mouth touching mine. I bit my tongue hard to keep from reacting; after a moment she sighed and left.

I exhaled heavily, still not opening my eyes, and licked my lips. They tasted of bones and grave soil, yes, but they were also sweet like sugar. I sighed again. I had been so happy a few moments ago…

I pushed the thoughts out of my head and tested my control of my body. I curled my fingers, flexed my muscles, and rolled over, but I couldn't manage to sit up. If I even tried, it felt like there were dozens of demons flying around in my skull and digging their claws into my brain. I got a similar reaction when I opened my eyes. I only did it once.

Kagome had made a pot of Ramen. The scent, though I knew I should be ravenous, only sent my stomach rolling with nausea. So I pulled the blanket over my face and dropped off to sleep once again.

The sound of the door creaking open woke me. Light cut through the blanket and I groaned in pain.

"Ahhh, so yer at least responsive, I see."

Kaede. I stifled a growl; this witch was going to… well, I didn't really know. But I was sure it wasn't going to be pleasant.

"I know yer conscious."

I stifled a groan. She wasn't going to get a reaction out of me.

SPLASH!!

I coughed and spluttered, started out of my skin by the bucket of freezing water. I shivered violently, my body spasming with the icy water.

"Damn it, hag!!" I snarled, beginning to glare at her and sit up but shutting my eyes and slumping back down with a pitiful whine.

"Good morning, InuYasha." Kaede said calmly. "Head still hurting, hmm?"

"What does it look like to you??" I growled through clenched teeth. "Would you be alive if I could move right now??"

"True enough. That was quite a hit you took," she mused. "A mere human wouldn't have escaped with their head intact; it would have been split like ripe fruit."

Huh. I didn't _remember_ hitting my head on the way down…

"Ay," Kaede continued. "Nearly split _your _head open, at that. You've been out for almost a week. When you were brought to me, ye was scarcely breathing."

A week?! And I was still this weak??

"My elder sister and young Kagome never leave yer side, though they're never here at the same time. They talk to you, I hope you know."

"Ya," I grunted, trying to wring my blanket out without opening my eyes or sitting up. Then I noticed it: the wounds on my palm had healed; I could feel the small scars. I ran my other hand over them, examining them without my eyes.

"We were all very curious about those, we were." Kaede's voice startled me. "They were deep and open when ye was first brought." I felt her one eye boring into me with burning intensity. "Yer own claw were soaked with yer blood."

"They're nothing," I growled tightly, and, not succeeding with the blanket, tossed it aside and rolled over, the sudden movement causing my head to throb.

"Forgive me if I don't believe you."

"Feh." The conversation was making me uncomfortable, and my ever constant headache worse. I shivered in my wet clothes.

Kaede sighed, and I felt a thick woolen blanket drop over me. The old priestess leaned close and whispered:

"Be guarded, InuYasha, against not only Naraku and evil demons, but against yourself. Your mixed blood leaved you vulnerable to inner weakness. Do not put too much faith in the strength of your heart. It may fail you very soon."

Then she was gone, her quiet warning leaving me silent and somber. My heart…

Would it really fail me?

**(A/N) What did you think?!?! If you want a quicker update than last time, please review!! The next chap is called "Testing the Limits of One's Body" and the real story line starts!! Please review!!! It would make one cat very very happy!! =^^=**


	5. Chapter5Pushing the Limits of One's Body

**(A/N) Wow, I think it's been two weeks since I updated! Sorry! Anywhos, this is the chapter where you find out what the main plot of the story will be! That's really all I have to say for now… enjoy! =^^= **

**Thanks to my reviewers: ****WerewolfVampireWriter, NinjaSheik, and Lily-chan818. You are awesome!! **

**I do not own InuYasha, blah, blah, blah. God, I'm getting tired of saying that! **

The next few days passed quietly enough. I didn't bother to fake it anymore, though, to my extreme frustration, I still couldn't sit up. I also couldn't keep_ anything_ down. After two unsuccessful tries, no one pushed me to try to again.

I found out why my body still didn't work right. Apparently I really had split my head open. A severe "concussion" was what Kagome had called it. She had said, in clipped blunt terms, that it meant that I had "cracked my head open and bashed it around really well." She was startlingly unsympathetic, considering she had caused my fall in the first place.

Kikyo, on the other hand, was _very_ kind. She had no end of sympathy and, well, _love_. She didn't leave my side, except when Kagome came in. the two of them were never in the same room. When Kagome came in, Kikyo left. When Kagome left, Kikyo came back.

When Kikyo was gone, I missed her sorely. I felt guilty about it, but I did. I felt like some demon had chewed me up and spit me out, but Kagome seemed to have no sympathy for me. She hardly looked at me. It had taken _days_ for me to be able to open my eyes without unbearable pain. As hungry as I was, I couldn't eat. My muscles were killing me from staying down for so long, but I couldn't get up. I was miserable. Kagome's presence only made me feel worse.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I was incredibly board. I kept a tally of the days, and etched countless designs with my claws in the wood floor and wall. Eventually, after three days, I just couldn't take it anymore. Everyone had told me to stay down and rest, but I just couldn't anymore. I would go crazy. With a growl, I grabbed Tetsusaiga from where it lay beside me.

I got up. My head felt like dozens of little spears had pierced it. I groaned, but, leaning heavily on Tetsusaiga, got to my knees. The pain almost sent me sprawling back down, but I hauled myself to my feet. I let out a soft whine, but felt a small hint of triumph.

I forced myself to limp awkwardly and painfully to the door. I fumbled with the latch, desperate to get outside. When I finally did, I half fell out. The air smelled so _good,_ so _fresh_. The sun instantly warmed my cold, stiff, aching body. Even though it hurt my eyes, I stared up at the glittering blue sky. I sighed and slumped down just outside the doorway. My pounding headache- though it hadn't lessened –suddenly seemed less important.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I must have dozed off, because the toe of a sandal prodding me in the ribs woke me.

"Look who's out and about."

"Shut up, hag." I snapped at Kaede without opening my eyes. "How long did you expect me to stay cooped up in there??"

"I'm surprised you made it out here." Kaede said dryly. "We all suspected that if ye did something stupid like this, we'd be one half-demon short."

"Well, I'm fine, so leave me alone."

"Kagome and Kikyo haven't been back all day," Kaede remarked. My eyes snapped open. "I'm a wee-bit apprehensive; both of them gone, at the same time?" she was silent for a moment while my mind raced. "Perhaps I should- what are you doing?!"

I was struggling to my feet, using Tetsusaiga to support my sagging frame.

"I'm going to find them, obviously!" I snapped, panting.

"Don't talk nonsense." Scoffed Kaede. "You can barely stand."

"Try me!" I snarled, my head flashing with huge super-novas of blinding pain, but I pushed past it. I trudged toward the trees, Kaede keeping up with me easily.

"You aren't healed nearly enough," she argued.

"I'll tell you when I've healed enough!" I growled through clenched teeth. "And I've healed enough now!!" then, even though I knew it would nearly kill me, I bunched my muscles and bounded into a nearby tree. I didn't land nearly as gracefully as normal, but I was out of sight. I slumped down, whining, my whole body screaming at me for being such an idiot. Flashed of radiant pain still filled my head, even worse now. I let out a small, bitter laugh. I had a bad, bad feeling about what was to come.

**(A/N) YAY!! Go Inu-chan!! I love how it only takes him three days to get totally fed up with resting. Anywhos, next chap is called "The Drug." Dun, dun, dun! Sounds ominous, right! Please review and tell me what you think! See you next time! **


	6. Chapter 6 The Drug

**(A/N) Wow, this is a really, really quick update… it's amazing… Anywhos, I really don't have anything to say at the start of this one, except that, well, I'm sorry. You'll see what I mean at the end. **

**Thank you to my reviewers,** **WerewolfVampireWriter, NinjaSheik, and Lily-chan818. You are the reason for this really quick update! **

**I. Do not. Own. InuYasha. End of story. **

Five minutes later, I practically fell out of a tree. I can count on one hand how many times I've fallen out of trees. I was having a very hard time, though, keeping my balance, let alone my footing.

A half an hour later, I couldn't do it on one hand anymore.

My vision was always either blurred or double or both, and my depth perception frankly sucked. At times, flashes of pain blinded me altogether, but I kept going. The only thought that kept me going was Kikyo and Kagome. Along with the super-novas of pain, nightmarish images flashed through my head of what might have happened to them.

Throughout my run, I learned to trust my instincts and muscles rather than my brain and eyes. Besides half a dozen falls and almost impaling myself on a branch twice, the time passed rather uneventfully… until I happened upon a scent trail. _Kagome!_ And, more strongly, _Kikyo!_ And, underneath both their scents, _blood!_

I launched myself forward, but my body didn't do quite what I asked it to and I ended up in a heap on the ground. I moaned. I was never going to catch up, let alone rescue them, like this! I lay for a few moments, both trying to catch my breath and not lose hope. _Please, _I prayed to my body_, last me long enough to save them! After that I don't care, I really don't care!!_ That thought scared me.

I got to my feet and opened my blurry eyes, when something caught my attention: a yellow lump resting against a tree. A closer inspection reviled it to be Kagome's backpack. A closer sniff revealed that the red splotches on it were indeed her blood. And a close inspection of the interior revealed that she had not been attacked by a demon; the Shikon Shards were still there.

I examined the two shimmering slivers longer than necessary. The image that kept coming to mind was Sango, when Naraku had stuck a shard in her to suppress her _pain_, to _keep her fighting… until she died_, I reminded myself. But if I really didn't care…

I took the lid off the little jar and put one shard in the palm of my hand, examining it. The glittering little fragment seemed to whisper to me, promising me relief from the pain and the ability to rescue those I loved. Miroku's words echoed in my aching head: Might it be that, in return for the jewel's power, the bearer loses their soul? I also remembered when, trapped in the belly of an ogre, using the shard had made me lose control of myself completely, and almost attack Kagome and the others. But there was nothing here to taint the shard.

I thought, long and hard. Then, making my decision, I…

**(A/N) I'm sorry!! It was just too good a cliffy to pass by! I would be interested in what you think our dear Inu-chan is going to do! Please review, and see ya next time! **


	7. Chapter 7 Unwelcome Intruder

**(A/N) Hi! Ok, so this is the last time I'll be updating until December 17. Wanna know why?? F-ing FINALS, that's why!!! I am sooo stressed right now, and I'm not going to touch the computer until their over, which it the 17****th****. I'm REALLY looking forward to updating then, and seeing all my wonderful reviewers again!! On that note: **

**Thank you so much to: ****Lily-chan818, NinjaSheik, and cookiedoughicecream2! You are always appreciated! **

**I do not own InuYasha. **

I tore through the trees, fixated on the scent trail. Power surged through me from the Shikon No Tama jewel shard embedded in my palm. _I can gouge it out at a moment's notice,_ I told myself, but way of comfort. The pain had vanished the instant I pushed the sliver under my skin; my vision had snapped into focus and my mind had started working right. The shard was the perfect drug. I knew now that I could save Kikyo and Kagome.

The shard's power was a heavenly feeling, better than anything I had ever felt. In my life. Lightning surged through my body, and the sheer power flowing through my veins told me that I could do _anything I wanted_. The little sliver of jewel whispered inside my head, telling me of ultimate strength; sometimes its voice scared me.

_We can make them do _our_ bidding_, it murmured to me. _Their power is _nothing_ compared to ours, to _yours_. _

_Shut up! _I growled in my head. _Your_ _power is mine to control, and I'm not taking over anyone!_

_You,_ _though half demon you are, have never had the _joy_ of drinking the red blood of humans,_ it hissed, _or partaking of their flesh… _

"Shut up!" I snarled. "I can take you out before you can utter another disturbing word!" I clenched my hand into a fist, digging my claws in to prove my point, though it didn't hurt in the way I knew it should.

_Ahhh, but you shant, shall ye?_ The shard asked mockingly. _For, without borrowing my power, the sweet girls' lives you will be unable to save, correct?_

_Just shut up, _I thought at it, unclenching my fist.

The delicious power I felt, though wonderful, was completely unnerving. The shard's words rang true: I could make_ anyone_ do _anything_ I wanted. I _felt_ like a _full_ _demon_.

_Yes,_ chuckled the shard. _Yes, if you choose to accept my power, a full Youkai you shall be, but only if I am united with mine brothers. _

_No way! _I snapped._ That is not my mission! Now get out of my head!! _

_When you take me out, then I will leave._ The shard said cockily.

_I will if you cont leave me alone! _Ithreatened_. _

_You forget, child, that I am a part of your mind. I can tell when a threat is idle. _

I growled in frustration and removed my claws from my hand.

_Just let me think in peace. _

I got no time to stop and think. For, as soon as I got that thrice-damned shard to shut up, the scent trail I was following abruptly stopped. I sniffed, panicking.

I dropped to the ground, panic welling up in me. I bent low to the ground and sniffed furiously at the leaves. I went back to the last trace of scent time and time again, but it just vanished. A cold lump of dread settled in my empty belly. I had done too much to lose them now!

_You mean me, pup?_ Asked the shard cruelly.

_Shut the hell up, damn you! I can't deal with you right now!!_ I snarled, quite shocking the shard into silence.

I continued my desperate search. Finally, I slumped down with my back against the large tree that held the last trace of their scent. I buried my face in my hands. The feeling of euphoria that the shard gave me was dampened considerably by my dread. The scent was gone! How was I supposed to find them with no scent??

_Poor, poor you,_ the shard cooed mockingly.

"I said SHUT UP!!!" I roared out loud. I dug my claws into my hand, stopping an inch from the shard. Since it really was in my head, it could tell that I was serious. I had nothing to lose now. _Except my life_, I added. Truly, the only thing that kept me from gouging out the hell-born shard was my fear of what would happen next. I had heard of the terrible withdrawal, and if my body had been so badly wounded to begin with… what would happen if I removed it? I had heard the horror stories of demons' bodies self-destructing when Shikon shards were removed. Or would the sudden pain itself kill me?

_You're very right, pup, _the shard confirmed my fears_. The only two demons that've used me who haven't been killed in order to remove me died a very gruesome death. When I was removed, it was because their bodies dependant on me had become. _

I growled softly. If I couldn't save Kagome and Kikyo, I was far better off dead.

_Now boy_, the shard said, _you should make someone, other than yourself, suffer for your pain… _

"No!" I snarled out loud. "It would be better for it to all end now!"

I banged my head against the knotted tree behind me, trying to decide what to do. Suddenly, there was no wood behind me, and I was falling through empty space.

**(A/N) ya, I don't really know what using a Shikon shard would be like, so I tried! ^^ I'll see you all after finals, Dec. 17, and, as always, please review! **


	8. Chapter 8 The Bloody Arrow

**(A/N) HI!! Finals. Are. OVER!!!! Woot!! And I know I got an "A" at least two of them!! I am incredibly happy right now!! And ya know how I said the 17****th****? Well, obviously I couldn't wait!! *reveling in sound of keyboard* and, yeah, if any of you did spot me, I did cheat a little on the whole "not going to touch the computer" thing. But I did very little, and I studied really hard! So, enough about that. **

**Ok, so this is the final warning: if you are a Kikyo fan, I would strongly suggest that you quit this story. I hate to stop people from reading, but I'm betting that if I don't say this, I might have quite a few really pissed reviews this time. And I do want to remind everyone that I have nothing against Kikyo, but I don't believe that Kikyo is alive. The current Kikyo is a demon in Kikyo's form. **

**Anywhos, enough about that. I do hope that everyone enjoys this! **

**Oh, and thanks to my reviewers from last time: ****Lily-chan818, NinjaSheik, and cookiedoughicecream2!! You are awesome!! **

When I landed, I felt my bones jar and muscles jump, but I felt no pain, thanks to the blasted, smart-ass shard. I got to my feet instantly; the lack of pain felt very strange.

_My power, glorious it is!_ Gloated the shard.

_Unnerving it is_, I corrected. _Unnatural it is._

The shard replied only with a chuckle.

It was pitch black under the tree, but the shard also boosted my vision considerably. All around me was dank earth and water. But there was something else… I knelt, pushing my nose to the ground. Kagome!! Kikyo!! I had found the scent. I dashed off, eager to rescue them. As I went, the scent of Kagome's blood grew stronger. I had to hurry.

_Call on my power, boy,_ the shard urged me. _I can give your feet the speed of the wind! _

I growled softly. _I have a bad feeling about this… _

Sheer joy and energy flowed through me, and my feet flew over the ground of their own accord. I quickly lost track of how many turns I made. I pushed even faster when I came to a huge splotch of fresh blood. _Oh, Kagome…_ I moaned silently. I flashed by a huge cavern. It took me a moment to realize that the scent stopped there. I quickly back-tracked and darted into the cave. It was pitch black inside; even my shard-heightened eyes couldn't cut through the darkness. But my nose could. An overpowering scent of Kagome and what smelled like a gallon of her blood nearly knocked me off my feet. Every second knowing I was increasing my dependence on the shard, I pleaded with it.

_Strengthen my vision so that I can see where she is. _

The shard let out a little trill of triumph, and instantly the cave brightened. It was enormous. I saw Kagome, lying in a huge- and widening –pool of blood. With a cry of dismay, I launched myself across the cavern.

"Kagome!!" she was so still and pale; I reached out tentatively and touched her shoulder.

"Uhg…" she moaned and stirred, ever so slightly.

_Looks like yer in time, boy._ The shard said by way of congratulations.

_We're not done yet,_ I told it in an almost borderline friendly way. _She's hurt really bad, and we still have to find Kik…_ My thought was cut off as I uttered a strangled cry. As I spoke to the shard, I had been rolling Kagome onto her back to discover the wound. What I had found was a beautiful shafted arrow embedded deep in her side. Clinging to the arrow was _Kikyo's _scent.

"No," I moaned, gripping my head as my heart shuttered and split in two. "No, no, no…"

I curled into a ball and rocked back. This couldn't be happening!! It took me a moment to realize that the odd sounds I kept hearing were my own strangled sobs.

_Boy! Boy!_ The shard tried unsuccessfully to get my attention.

"It was all for nothing." I said dully. "Look what I've done. I've signed away my life… but Kikyo… how could she do this to me…?"

_It appears you, me boy, are suffering from a terribly broken heart. _

"It's pointless!" I raved, not comprehending the shard's words. "Like this, I can't even save Kago…" suddenly, a light of hope shone through. "Shard." I said, getting myself under control for a moment. "I don't care what happens to me, I really don't care, but what I do care about is Kagome." I took a deep breath.

"Strengthen my heart. Make me forget about love. Take away this pain. Make me forget how dearly I have loved. You can do that, right?"

_Are ye sure about that?_ Asked the shard. _Do ye know what-?_

"Yes. Do it." I steeled myself. "After just one thing…" I leaned over Kagome.

"Kagome, I've loved you more than I ever thought possible, more than you'll ever know. I do this to save you." I bend and pressed my lips to hers, savoring the taste and the love in my broken heart.

_Do it._ I growled, sitting back. _Now._

_Alright… _

And both the love, and the pain, vanished.

**(A/N) Once again, I hope you liked it!! This chap is kind of the climax, the "turning point" in the story, or at least one of them, even though there's still a long way to go. The next chapter is called "The Blank Heart"! See ya'll then, and please review!! =^^=**


	9. Chapter 9 The Blank Heart

**(A/N) Oh. My. Frigging. God. I have a very good excuse for why this is so late. My friend, who I am now very mad at, pushed me into a pool while my flash drive was in my pocket. I had to re-write everything that I hadn't already published! Well, I'm really short on time right now, so I'll just say a couple quick things: first, as I'm sure you've noticed, I try to avoid cussing. I didn't in this chap. You'll see why. Also, this was really, really hard to write, because it went totally against my InuxKag nature, but things will look up, I promise. Anywhos, hope you all enjoy! **

**Thanks for the two reviews I got from the last chapter: Lily-chan, and WerewolfVampireWriter**.

**I do not own InuYasha. Understand?! **

I blinked open my eyes. The first thing to hit me was the overpowering scent of blood. My eyes focused on the human lying on the cold stone floor. _Kagome…?_ I wasn't sure where the name came from; a dim flicker of memory played at the edges of my mind, just out of reach. _Well,_ I asked myself, _what now?_

_Rescue her, as you came to do, _a voice in my head that was not my own supplied. _Or perhaps to devour her is what you choose?_ It sounded almost hopeful.

_The shard,_ I thought. That part of my memory, at least, was intact. I looked at the human again. _Kagome…_ I reached forward, her strangely familiar scent nagging me. _Did I know her…?_

_Shard,_ I snapped. _Who in all the hells is she??_

_Ye yourself banished her memory; tis not mine place to restore it,_ the shard teased.

_Damn it, I can gouge you out right now! _There was something very familiar about the threat, but it eluded me.

_Why did I use the shard?_ I asked myself. _To gain power _was the immediate answer that presented itself. _No, no, that doesn't seem right! _

_The lass's life-blood flows fast,_ the shard pointed out.

I looked at the woman's still form long and hard. I couldn't remember who she was… but my values remained intact. I hoisted her across my shoulders and backtracked, following my own scent out of the tunnels. As I walked, the feathered tip of an arrow embedded in the human's side tickled my nose. A very confusing scent washed over me. It made my heart tremble slightly, something I had never felt before.

I trudged up into the sunlight. It felt wonderful; I was a wild thing, an outcast, attached to no one. I never would be. The woman on my shoulders stirred slightly. I paused and laid her on the ground, ripping strips from her strange garb- without exposing her –to staunch the bleeding. Removing the arrow was a strange thing; I shrugged and tossed the feelings away with the arrow.

The girl- Kagome, was it? –stirred. I felt an odd sense of relief, and my heart fluttered slightly. I placed one hand to my chest; the small thing inside it had been acting very strangely lately.

_Ah, my power can any slate wipe clean!_ The shard in my palm gloated.

_What in hell is that supposed to mean?!_ I tried to muster a furious snarl, but I was really just confused.

_Never you mind,_ the shard said, still in a gloating way.

"Inu… Yasha…?"

I jumped out of my skin at the soft voice that affected me more than it should have.

"What?!" I growled, without turning.

"Are you alright?"

"Why do you care?!?" I snapped furiously.

I felt her flinch back, and felt strangely guilty. "Where's your village?" I asked gruffly.

"InuYasha…" the woman's voice was uncertain and envious, "What is…"

"Nothing!!" I spat angrily. "I just asked a simple question, damn you!! I go though the trouble of dragging your blood soaked carcass up here; at least you can give me a fucking straight answer!!"

My ears twitched at the sound of her soft sniffling, and smelled salt as her tears mixed with the blood on her face. Something deep inside me cried to comfort her, but it was too deep, and I didn't act on it.

"InuYasha…" she sobbed quietly, "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing's wrong with _me_!" I snarled. "What's wrong with _you_?!? You act like you know me!! Hell, you act like _I'm_ supposed to know you!!"

"You… you don't?" she whispered hoarsely.

I turned to face her for the first time. Her expression seemed more important than it should; she looked stricken, devastated and tortured. I sighed.

"No, I don't. I think I know your name, and your scent is unnervingly familiar, but, no, I don't have a clue who you are and how you know me." I growled, but it was directed inward. "And this blasted shard knows something, but it ain't telling."

Kagome grew deathly still.

"InuYasha…" she sounded very apprehensive. "Did you use a Shikon Shard?"

"Yeah," I answered flippantly. "Again, what's it to you?"

"Why?" the girl asked softly. "Why would you do that?"

I was speechless. I searched my limited memory furiously. It didn't seem quite right. My head had hurt… but…

"I don't know." I mused. "I don't remember." Then, I shook my head furiously. This was pointless! "There's a stream nearby." I told the human. "I'm going to get some water. I'll be right back." It was more of an excuse than anything; I needed to be alone for a minute, like I was every day. Well, every day that I could remember.

I bounded away towards the stream. My conscious mind reveled in being alone, but something inside me was unsettled by the fact that there was no one near. That was odd; I couldn't remember being close to anyone… ever. Then I shrugged, pushing away the disconcerting thoughts. I reached the water, bending down and lapping at the cool, fresh water. But when I looked up, I was surprised at what I saw.

"My reflection…" I murmured softly, staring disbelievingly at it.

Everything was wrong. Or, at least, not how I thought it should be. My features were as I remembered them, but the eyes that starred back at me were foreign. They were liquid gold, and strangely soft. Deep within them, I saw emotions that I had no name for playing. Reflected back at me, I saw confusing and bewildering things, and didn't understand a thing. But, very strangely, I longed to remember them.

**(A/N) Ouch! Poor Kagome! See you all next time, and please review! **


	10. Chapter 10 Tears

**(A/N) Okay, so this chapter refused to be written. It's short, but I'm happy with how it came out. I don't really have much to say about it, but I did want to tell you people that I'll be putting up an InuYasha one-shot tomorrow for V Day. Did anyone notice that it's the new-moon?! So perfect! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter! **

**Thanks so much to my reviewers, WerewolfVampireWriter, and Lily-chan818! You are the only thing that keeps this story going sometimes! **

**I do not own InuYasha! I never have! I never will! **

When I returned to where the girl was, slightly more collected, she was stilling up. There was a grace about her, despite the fact that she was injured. I shook my head furiously.

"Just tell me where you want me to take you." I growled, wanting to get this over with.

The human sighed. "Kaede's village, I guess."

"Kaede? Ya mean the village by the Bone Eater's well?"

"Yeah," she said tiredly, "that's the one."

I lifted her onto my back. When she settled there, I felt an overwhelming sense of Déjà-vu. _I _have _done this before…_

"Here, turn here." The woman pointed. I swerved down a path and emerged a moment later in the clearing of the Bone Eater's well.

"Why are we here?" I asked, my patience wearing thin.

"Take me down into the well, please."

"You're out of your mind." I growled.

"Just do it, please," she said softly, sadly.

"Feh." I growled, and then leaped down the well. When I landed, the sunlight of the forest had vanished. _Was this the same well?_ Very strange scents and sounds drifted down to me; memory flickered and was gone, playing in the shadows of my mind. I growled at myself.

"Mom! Grandpa! Sota!" the girl on my back called out. "I'm ho-ome!" then, to me, "Up, please."

I don't know what made me obey- maybe it was just my need to escape the well –but I jumped up. As soon as I stepped out of the well house, I was hit with major sensory overload. A thousand unrecognizable sounds roared in my ears, and a million foreign scents assaulted my nose. I might have retreated into the dark quiet of the well house, but three humans came running up.

"InuYasha!" cheered the smallest, a boy.

"Kagome, you're bleeding!" the middle aged woman cried, obviously worried.

The elder, a man, shuffled up, looking as worried as the mother, but stayed silent.

"It's okay, mom." Kagome said from where she still perched on my back. "InuYasha took care of me."

"Oh, thank goodness." Kagome's mother said in relief. "What on earth would we do without him?"

"InuYasha's awesome!" chirped the little boy, then cried triumphantly, "Iron-reaver, soul-stealer!"

I looked from one person to the other, rapidly growing more and more confused and annoyed. Finally, as this little kid imitated me, I couldn't take it anymore.

"What in all the hells is going on?!" I burst out, sounding more helpless and confused than angry, as I had meant to. "Who in all the hells are you people?!"

Everyone but the woman on my back was stunned into silence. Kagome, though, elbowed my head aside roughly so she could see her family. I bit back a growl of anger.

"InuYasha's done something really stupid," she stated simply. "It seems to have whipped parts of his memory." She sighed. "He remembers some things, but nothing about me, or, it seems, you guys. Probably not Sango, Miroku, Shippo or Kirara, either."

"I lost you." I growled softly, confirming her statement. "I have no clue who those people are."

"What about Kikyo?" the little boy asked. I felt Kagome tense on my back, but I didn't hesitate in my answer, or rather, question:

"Who's that?"

"What was this stupid thing?" asked the old man- Kagome's grandfather?

Kagome coughed slightly. She took a deep breath.

"A Shikon Shard." My voice was quiet. "I used a Shikon Shard."

Everyone stared at me for longer than I could stand.

"Look!" I snapped despairingly. "I might not know why I did it, or who you people are, but I sure know when I've done something wrong! There are giant holes in my head and, damn it, if I don't know it's something really important!" I was surprised to have to choke back tears. Kagome started to rub my back. My head told me that it was all wrong, for this stranger to be comforting me. But something, something deeply engrained in me, reveled in her touch. I snarled aloud in frustration. I had no clue where I was, so I couldn't even run and hide.

So I was stuck there, crying, for the first time I could remember, in front of strangers I knew I should care for.

**(A/N) Poor Inu-chan! Hope you liked it! Please, please review! **


	11. Chapter 11 Unknown

**(A/N) I was going through yesterday, because I'm weird like that, and found this. It really reminded me of this story, so I thought I'd put the link here. Please take a look at it! .com/cards/view/45903/ **

**Anywhos, I'm really happy with this chapter, and I hope you enjoy it. I'm really short on time (my mom's coming home in half an hour and I haven't done a bloody thing but this update), so I'll keep this quick. **

**Thank you so much to my reviewers: WerewolfVampireWriter and Lily-chan818!! **

**Arg! I don't have time for this!! *insert disclaimer here or view previous disclaimers* **

The piece of cloth tied around my head moved as I twitched my ears. The wooden stick they called a "broom" was held awkwardly in my hands. Kagome's mother's words were clear in my head: _If you're going to stay, you may as well help. You usually do it, anyway. Here, sweep the kitchen, please. _

I had to admit, the strange smells of the kitchen smelled very familiar, even if I couldn't place them. Even the broom caused a faint thing to stir in the back of my mind.

Another thing stirred in my head.

_How dull, boy, reduced to a maid. _

_Shut up, _I growled mentally. _I'll do _anything it takes _to regain my memory. _

The shard chuckled. _What an irony… _

_What's an irony?! _I roared at the thing. _You drop these tiny little, enraging, cryptic things, and- _

"InuYasha…?"

I untwisted the grimace frozen on my face and looked at Kagome, who was leaning on crutches in the doorway.

"What's wrong?" she asked, her eyes wandering to my hands. I glanced down to see the two splintered pieces of wood I was gripping so tightly that my knuckles were white. I dropped the broken broom in shock.

"Oh… oh crap… I am so sorry…" I shook my head.

"It's okay," she soothed, limping forward, "Why did you break the broom?"

Her voice was so kind… I didn't fight the inexplicable urge to confide in her for long.

"The Shard…" I admitted. "It talks to me. It knows something, too, but won't say a darn thing, just drops cryptic little hints… it drives me crazy. It taunts me too. I would take the thrice damned thing out, but…"

_But indeed! _Chirped the shard.

_Shut up! _I snapped at_. You aren't a part of this conversation! _

"But you're afraid," Kagome supplied.

"No," I growled defensively, "Just… afraid." I finally sighed, failing to think of a better word. "I've become dependent on the hell-born thing," I stared at my palm. "If I take it out… I do remember I was in a lot of pain before I used the shard. I don't think it's healed those wounds, it's just suppressing the pain."

"Well, let's see." Kagome limped right up to me and began- after laying her crutches to the side –to untie the cloth that hid my ears (I still didn't see a reason for it). Her fingers combed experimentally though my hair; she paused once to finger my ear thoughtfully.

"Looks like you're right," she mused, "Your concussion hasn't healed yet."

"And what exactly is a concussion?" I asked, annoyed.

"Well," she began, "We were running along and you had Kikyo on your back. I was riding on Kirara, a demon cat," she grimaced as if the memory brought back unpleasant feelings. "I accidentally said the "s" word, sent you sprawling, and on the way down you literally cracked your head open. We took you back to Kaede, and we tried to nurse you. But when Kik…" she trailed off, and I wondered if she was about to mention that Kikyo character who kept coming up. Then she finished quickly, "It seems you left before you were fully healed. You found the shard and decided to use it so you could…" I thought she was going to say more, like why I might have been motivated to do something like that, but then she spread her hands, indicating that she was finished.

I sifted through my many questions to find the most important. "One question," I said, "What's the "s" word?"

Kagome startled me by laughing. It was a wonderful, musical sound.

"Do you really want to know?" she asked, her eyes sparkling.

"Of course!" my voice sounded eager even to my own ears. A shadow of a memory was there… warning me? I felt something unpleasant was coming…

"See these beads around your neck?" a smile was tugging at the corners of Kagome's mouth. "They're called "subjugation beads."" She fingered one thoughtfully, and then said simply:

"Sit boy."

A flash of many memories raced though my head, my shocked yelp stifled by Kagome's rug.

"By what spell…?!" I growled.

"Don't ask me," Kagome offered her hand. "And you literally did ask for it."

"You've done that before…" I mused, "Many times… are you sure we aren't enemies?"

She laughed again. I felt a smile pull at my mouth. No, this girl was my friend. As I thought those words, my heard jumped and fluttered, and I felt _happy. _I couldn't remember ever having this light feeling before. But I had a feeling this wasn't the first time. And then, it got better. As I looked at Kagome smiling, a beautiful feeling swelled in my heart; I didn't recognize it, but it was a thousand times better than anything the shard could ever give me.

"Kagome…?" I asked softly.

"Hm?" she looked up at me, still smiling.

"I… I'm so confused… but… I think I'm… happy."

"I'm so glad." She said, reaching forward and wrapping me in a warm embrace. My heart skipped, the warmth of Kagome's body melting my very soul. I held her close, her body feeling so right in my arms.

"Kagome…?" I asked again softly.

"Hm…?" came her reply. She had buried her head in my chest.

"Who were you to me?"

She looked up at me, her eyes big and shimmering with tears. I was taken aback by her reaction.

"I don't know," her voice was sweet and sad, and her eyes shone with emotion. My heart stopped and fluttered, trying to beat but failing.

Kagome tore herself from my arms and fled, barley pausing to grab her crutches. I gazed after her, feeling strangely empty.


	12. Chapter 12 Putting Aside Confusion

**(A/N) Praise the Lord!! And update!! **

**Sweet merciful **_**cake**_**, it's been over a month since I updated this!! I am so, so sorry!! **

**Anywhos, I hope this chapter was worth the wait!! In this chapter, InuYasha digs up more of his feelings for Kagome and makes a decision. **

**Thanks so very much to ****Azetta, Arekushisu 089, Lily-chan818!!!**

**I do not own InuYasha!! Or anything created by Rumiko Takahashi!! Only the plot!! And a whole hell of a lot of exclamation points!! **

**Also, a note to Lily-chan, or, more specifically, Mitz: I am so, so sorry I have fallen behind with One Day in SS Class! So very, very far behind!! TT-TT I've been concentrating so totally on writing while keeping my grades up, I've had no time!! So, in peace, I will say this: **

**Go!! Everyone who is reading this, go and read One Day in Social Studies Class, which is in my favorites!! If you like this story, go over and check it out!! It is highly recommended!! That story and its awesome author need some love and reviews!! **

**On with the story!! **

I crouched for an endless time in front of Kagome's door. My ears caught her quiet sobbing; I longed to hold her again, to wipe her tears. I couldn't quite get up the courage to knock, and my heart was beating like thundering horses' hooves. So I sat there, these new and strange feelings swirling inside me. Every time I got up and started to knock, my courage failed and I slumped back down.

When the door finally opened, it nearly knocked me down, for I was up again, pacing back and forth.

"InuYasha?" Kagome's voice was cool, but it had that deep sadness behind it.

"We need to talk," I said softly. I led a somewhat startled Kagome back into her room. I sat beside her on her bed. I felt like I was going into a battle.

"What is it, InuYasha?" Kagome asked beside me.

I took a deep breath. "I need, I want to know who you are," I pulled her closer with my arm around her shoulders. "When I'm with you, I feel really good. And I've never had that before," I snorted. "Well, maybe I have. All I know is when I'm with you, my heart feels warm." I made a helpless gesture with my free hand. "I _want _to be with you. I don't think I could survive if I couldn't be with you."

I felt her shoulders begin to shake. _Oh no,_ I thought, _have I hurt her even more?_

"Kagome…?"

"You have… no idea," Kagome whispered, "how long I've wished for you to say that…"

"I don't even know what this feeling is," I offered, "but I know that I _want to feel it_. I need you," I sighed. "I don't know why, buy I promise, I'll always stay with you."

"InuYasha…"

"Kagome…"

I had said what I needed to say. Now, with Kagome in my arms and her name on my lips, it was time. I should be able to give myself to Kagome completely. And to do that, I needed to be _free_.

I dug my claws into my hand and, with my love for Kagome nestled in my heard, took out the Shikon Shard.

Electricity cracked through my body as I felt the shard fall though my claws. The pain hit me like a demon's blow. My vision flashed white, then red, and finally went black.

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The blackness was complete. I could feel nothing, not even a feeling of self. Then, I felt it: a burning, pulsing in my chest. _My heart…_ I realized. _My heard full of _love. And reality came back to me.

Sounds reached me as if I was at the bottom of a lake, slurred and fuzzy.

"Mom! Mom!! What now?! InuYasha!?" Kagome's voice was screaming.

"We've got to get him to the hospital!"

"No!" Kagome's grandfather's voice cut in. "He's not human! What will they find if they have to open him up?!"

"We have to do something!!" Kagome's mother argued.

"InuYasha!! Can you hear me?!" Kagome cried.

_Yes… _I tried to say. _Yes. I have a name for it, Kagome. Love. I love you, Kagome. _

And I was gone again.

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_What is hell like? _The question posed itself to my sluggish mind.

_Why? _I asked.

_Because that's where you're going… _

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A screaming siren went off in my head, the sound causing unearthly pain.

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_Love… _I sighed. _I love Kagome… _

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Life came back to me.

Pain shot through me, but I was happy, too. The shard was gone. My mind was mine. My heart was mine. To give to Kagome. I felt her close to me now. My head was in her lap, and she was stroking my hair slowly and rhythmically. To my dismay, there were still holes in my memory. But it didn't seem to matter that much anymore. I knew I loved Kagome, and that was all I needed.

**(A/N) It was kinda short, but I really liked it! I hope you did, too! Please tell me!! New policy: reviews=hints at what is to come!! **

**Don't forget to head over and read One Day in Social Studies Class!! **


	13. Does Not Exist

Really, this chapter doesn't exist. It was too much of a hassle to delete it all-together, so…

*insert something interesting here*


	14. Chapter 13 Filling in the Holes

**(A/N) I'm BAAAAAACK! Yay for me! No, really, I am out for the summer, but my vacation hasn't actually started yet. We are moving. Even though it's just to another condo in the same complex, where we're already sort of living, it's gonna be hard and time consuming. **

**Anywhos, this might get in the way of updates, but they'll still be a lot more frequent. **

**I'm actually really tired right now, so I don't have much more to say… Anywhos, enjoy! I hope it was worth the wait! **

**Thanks to flowergirl2988, Lily-chan818, "fan of inuyasha" and Azetta! I hope you enjoy this! **

**I do now own InuYasha! I do own a cat who is currently lying on my keyboard! Have you ever tried to type with a cat on your keyboard? Not easy! **

I groaned softly as I woke. My body felt… odd, as though I hadn't moved it in days. I remembered taking out the shard, and then small snatches of thought after that. How long had I been under?

I sat up, my joints popping and muscles stretching. There was some pain, but it mainly from the stiffness in my limbs. I glanced around Kagome's bedroom, surprised to find myself sitting up on her bed. My eyes found her, sitting slumped beside the bd. She looked pale and shallow. I got out of bed, getting tangled in the thick blankets I hadn't realized I was wrapped in. I crouched beside Kagome and looked at her critically. She was white as a ghost and looked very thin. Her usually shiny, well-kept black hair was dull and disheveled. She was shivering badly.

Feeling my heart ache for her, I gently lifted her from the floor, and, moving the blankets awkwardly aside with my foot, placed her in the still warm bed. She didn't stir, obviously exhausted. I tucked the blankets around her, and her shivering slowly quieted. I brushed her hair from her face, and then sat in the corner to keep watch over my sleeping love, as she had undoubtedly done for me.

Strong sunlight streamed through the curtains before Kagome stirred. My eyes had not moved from her still form all night.

Kagome moved slightly, then seemed to tense under the covers. She bolted upright, her eyes wide and wild. When they found me in the corner, she seemed even more confused and panicked. I quickly crossed the room to wrap her in a hug.

"You shouldn't sleep on the floor," I murmured. "You'll catch a cold."

Then she was crying. She gripped me tightly and buried her face in my chest. I held her until she calmed down. She looked up at me.

"I thought you were going to die," she said softly, her eyes wet with tears. "Are you really alright?"

"I feel fine," I assured her. "It's you I'm worried about. You look terrible!"

"Do you know who I am?" she whispered, a bit fearfully.

"How could I not recognize my love?" I asked, and then sighed. "But no, I don't remember a thing I lost to that hell-born shard."

"Let's start filling in the holes, then, shall we?" Kagome cupped my face in her hand. Then she looked away. "Hmph. It's stupid. I'm afraid."

"Why would you be afraid?" I asked into her fragrant hair.

"I'm afraid… that if you remember Kikyo… you won't love me anymore," her voice was soft and sad, and I could see, even in the dim light, fresh tears forming in her eyes.

"Look," I growled, "I don't know who this Kikyo is, but if she's not you, I could never love her."

"But you did," Kagome's voice was defeated.

"Listen to me," I said firmly, and lifted her chin so she looked me in the eye. "The shard erased my heart. But my love for you was able to survive that. I still knew your name. I don't even recognize this Kikyo's name. What does that tell you?"

Kagome smiled sadly. "Let's get to it, then. I had better enjoy this." And then she kissed me.

Her lips were soft and warm, her scent flooding my starved senses. She pulled back far too soon.

"Well?" she asked.

"I think I felt something there," I mused, "but it slipped away. Maybe for a bit longer?"

"I think that could be arranged."

I was feeling a hundred percent better. I even helped Kagome as we made our way to the kitchen. Her mother greeted us.

"InuYasha! You're on your feet! Kagome isn't this wonderful?" She hugged me in a very motherly way.

"I'm feeling a lot better," I said, thinking of that hellish unconsciousness. "How long have I been out?"

"About two weeks," Kagome's mother fretted. "We couldn't get you to stir." She glanced at her pale daughter, who was leaning on me. "Kagome hasn't left your side. She's barely slept or ate."

I nodded, deciding not to recount that night's events.

"Any luck with your memory?"

"No," I sighed. "We tried a couple of things, but nothing worked." Again, I decided not to go into detail.

"Well, Sota's still at school, and Grandpa's asleep… would you two like some lunch?" She didn't wait for an answer. She bustled into the kitchen, whistling a cheerful little tune.

After lunch, I stood outside, basking in the sun. it warmed my body, and there was a slight breeze that ruffled my long silver hair. Kagome appeared beside me.

"A beautiful day," she commented.

"Yeah," I agreed.

"Well," she said briskly, "shall we go?"

I started, the question catching me off guard. "Huh?" I blinked. "Where would we go?"

"Back to your time, of course," she said it like it was the most natural thing. "Sango, Miroku and Shippo must be _frantic _by now. And," she held up a hand to stifle my flow of questions, "even if you can't remember them, they remember you. And I'm sure you don't want your friends to worry."

The most urgent question found its way out: "I have friends?"

"Oh course, silly!" Kagome chirped. "You aren't the lone-wolf of a hanyou you used to be, you know. You've got…" she paused, thinking. "You've got a family now."

"A _family_," I mused, the idea very strange to me.

Kagome laughed softly, and then glanced at me, her eyes shining. "You know what? I think I just figured it out. Maybe the key to this whole thing isn't _restoring _your memories. Maybe the point is to make some new ones."

**(A/N) So, was it worth the wait? Please review, and tell me what you thought! I'm going to kind of rush to get this done, because I want to start the sequel to "The Hanyou's Heart" soon. So, expect quick updates! **


	15. Chapter 14 Family

**(A/N) And I'm back! Did you miss me? lol, I'm sorry this has been on hiatus for so long… *grovels* Really I am, there's just been so much going on… enough with the excuses. **

**Thank you to Lily-chan818 who reviewed the last chapter and reminded me that this story wasn't dead! **

**I do not own InuYasha. Though my plushie is being shipped as I type… x3 **

"Are you sure about this, girl?" I asked again. Kagome had insisted on brushing my hair. Then, she had decided it was time I meet my "friends." As I headed down the well, Kagome on my back, I had to admit that I wasn't keen on the idea. I would have been perfectly happy to stay- with Kagome-in her time forever. She had explained the whole 'time' thing to me, but I frankly didn't care. I liked the outdoors, yes, but I was so happy with Kagome that I would give that up easily. Friends I didn't remember would only complicate matters.

"Yes, I'm sure. Miroku and Sango have gotten us out of a lot of tight scrapes. I can't just walk out on them."

I snorted. "Well, I can."

"Well, I won't let you."

We emerged from the well into the forest. I had to admit that it was nice to be back among trees. Kagome pulled herself higher on my back and elbowed my head aside.

"Sango! Miroku! Shippo!" she called out. A few seconds later, a tiny fox demon came bounding up.

"Kagome!" he cried, bawling, and leaped into her arms. "You're here! I thought we lost you!"

"Sh…" Kagome soothed him. "I'm here now. InuYasha found me."

The fox sniffed loudly. "Y-you mean… InuYasha did something _right?_"

I reached back and whacked the little fox hard on the head. I knew as soon as I did it that I had done it before… a _lot_. A hundred flashes of memory were there and gone again. I examined the little fox with new interest.

"I know you…" I growled. The Kitsune looked at me very strangely.

Kagome sighed. "InuYasha, this is Shippo. Shippo, InuYasha did something really stupid and it whipped parts of his memory. He didn't remember me. he didn't remember _Kikyo_."

"I _still _don't," I grumbled, more than a bit vexed.

Shippo looked from her, to me, and back to her. Then, he shrugged and hopped onto Kagome's shoulder.

"Whatever, I'm just glad you're back."

"Where are Sango and Miroku?" Kagome asked.

"They went to look for you guys," Shippo chirped. "I said that I would stay here and watch the well. Just in case that's where you were, you know. Of course, we didn't actually think that that was the case…"

"How's Kaede doing?" Kagome asked.

"Fine. She's really worried about InuYasha, and so are Miroku and Sango…"

The conversation continued; I didn't try to follow it. I heard my name quite a few times, but the context was full of references to people and places and events that I didn't know.

Suddenly, Kagome cried out: "Look, there they are!" I stopped and glanced back at her; she was pointing up.

I followed her gaze and saw a huge white demon cat carrying two people on its back.

"MIROKUUUUU! SANGOOOOO!" Kagome called, loud enough to make my ears ring.

The girl- who seemed to be directing the cat –looked down and waved a huge weapon above her head. the cat began to descend. As they got closer, they also became clearer. I saw that the woman was dressed in a colorful sort of armor. The male appeared to be a monk. Kagome scrambled off my back to greet them, though I hung back.

Kagome embraced them both, and then began speaking in quick, quiet tones. I only caught a few words that made no sense when put together. After a few heartbeats, all three of them approached me. I took an involuntary step back, every instinct in my body telling me to run. These people looked dangerous. Kagome, probably seeing that I was skittish, ran over to my side, putting her arm around my waist.

"InuYasha, this is Miroku; he's a monk. And this is Sango; she's a demon exterminator." She gave me a little squeeze, and whispered for my ears only, "This is your family, InuYasha. _We're _a family."

My ears twitched. A family…? _i have a family…?___Sango and Miroku smiled tentatively. I shifted awkwardly. _I don't know my own family…_ I forced a small smile that I was sure looked more like a grimace. Kagome clapped her hands, breaking the silence.

"Alright then!" Kagome released me and went over to Miroku and Sango. I lost the conversation again.

"Hey!" I growled. "I'm totally lost here!"

Everyone turned to face me, and I immediately regretted saying anything. My ears flattened instinctively. Kagome saved me once again.

"Let's just set up camp," she said. "We can sort everything out tomorrow."

"Sure," Sango agreed quickly. "The sun's going down."

_Uh oh… the sun…! do they know?_

"Oh!" Shippo exclaimed. "Tonight's the new moon!"

_Okay, so they know. _I felt unbelievably vulnerable. These people knew my closest guarded secret!

"InuYasha?" the monk's voice broke into my thoughts. "Would you and Kagome collect some firewood?"

I gave him a quick nod of agreement and thanks. He smiled slightly, recognizing the escape he had given me.

Kagome and I walked side by side though the comforting trees. She put a hand on my shoulder.

"It's okay, you know. You can relax around Miroku and Sango."

"But I don't know who they are!" I whined despairingly. "And tonight…"

"I know," she soothed. "And so do they. None of us will let anyone near you tonight."

When we returned with the firewood, I had made up my mind: memory or no memory, these people were my friends. They were my 'family.' I would try my very best.

I helped build the fire, I helped make the Ramen. Everything I did was so familiar, it was enraging. When I felt the familiar change, I almost chickened out and ran for it. but I forced myself not to pause in my task.

I didn't sleep that night. I never did. Miroku stayed up too. Kagome fell asleep on my lap a little after midnight, and I took comfort in her presence. Miroku peered at us.

"What has taken place between you two?" he asked after a while.

I bit back a sharp response. "Well, I don't know what things were like before, so I can't tell you what's different now."

Miroku nodded. "That's understandable."

After a moment, I worked up the courage to ask softly, "What was it like before? Who was she to me?"

"Why don't you ask her?"

I growled softly in frustration. "I _did_. And she said she didn't know!"

"Well," Miroku said calmly, "if I had to guess I would say that she was your fallback choice."

"What the heck is that supposed to mean?"

"It means," Miroku said softly, "that you caused Lady Kagome no end of pain by choosing Lady Kikyo over her. Every time."

I felt guilt prick at me. _I'm afraid if you remember her, you won't love me anymore._ Kagome's words echoed in my head, and I brushed the sleeping woman's hair away from her face gently.

"I know I love her," I spoke with conviction. "I know I _loved_ her. I know I will _always_ love her."

Miroku smiled at me. "Then that's all that matters. That, and letting _her _know it too."

I smiled back, feeling warmth make its way through me. I tenderly stroked Kagome's cheek, running my claws through her beautiful black hair.

"Kagome was right," I murmured, half to myself. "I do have a family."

**(A/N) So what do you guys think? Worth the wait? Horrible stuff infesting your computer? Please tell me! Reviews=hints! See you soon! **


	16. Chapter 16 Steal Fang

**(A/N) Yo… **

**Long wait. Sorry about that. Between my grandma dying, school starting again, robotics season starting, and my computer getting a killer virus… I had no time. **

**The good news is that I'm in the process of editing all my fics. You'll see a new Naruto story up soon, along with a bunch of various one shots… and from now on… **

**I'll be updating consistently every week. Without fail! **

… **Okay, probably with some fail… **

**But each week I'll add a new chapter on either Friday or Saturday! **

**Anywhos… I have to thank Lily-chan818 for reviewing the last chapter! Thank you so much for standing by me and this story! *hugs***

**I do not own InuYasha. I don't even own the latest book… *sobs* **

When the dawn light filtered in though the trees, I felt the power flow though my limbs and relief wash over me. I stretched, and then gently woke Kagome, who was asleep on my lap.

"Good morning," I murmured, kissing her lips lightly.

She yawned, and then hugged me warmly. "'Morning."

We didn't get the chance to say more, for a howl split the air, and a pair of ogres charged though the trees and into the clearing. I leaped up, swishing Kagome behind me. Miroku sprang up, too, and Sango came to his side. There was a rattle as Miroku shifted his prayer beads, but one ogre knocked him to the side, sending him sprawling.

"Hiraikotsu!" Sango cried, loosing her giant boomerang and bounding up to land atop Kirara.

The bone traveled though the air, missing on the first go-around by hitting its mark the second time. The ogre screamed and grabbed the bone, tossing it aside and charging.

"Stay here, Kagome," I called, and jumped into the fray. Cracking my knuckles, I sliced into one of the demons with my claws, tearing its arm clean off. Its other hand, though, caught me on the side and flung me into the branches of a tree. I leaped back, slashing at it but missing badly. I glanced at Sango; she had her hands full. Without her boomerang, she was battling with only a hidden blade.

The ogre I was fighting took advantage of my lapse in attention and knocked me aside again, jarring my body. I winced and jackknifed up off the ground. That's when I saw it" Kagome was creeping toward her bow and arrows. _No! Stay put! _

The ogre spotted her. It lunged at her, its good hand outstretched. Kagome screamed, and I leaped forward. I knew I wouldn't be able to get to her in time.

Then, some memory deeply engrained in my muscles- rather than my mind –kicked in. without my consent, my hand grasped the word I hadn't realized was by my hip, and I wrenched it from its scabbard, feeling comfortable in the familiar motion. At least, my body was. My mind was very unnerved by this automatic action. That action continued with a sweep of the huge blade. A silvery wind swept forward, shredding the ogre to bits and gouging huge claw-marks in the ground.

I dropped the blade, shocked, and backed away slowly from the now small, rusty blade. _What was _that_? _ Whatever it was, it frightened me- not only the silver wind itself, but the automatic way in which I had done it.

The ogre Sango had been fighting ran off, but I didn't pay attention. I stared at my claws, more confused than I had ever been. For all that I could remember, they had been my only weapons. But, apparently, I had a very, very powerful blade.

_Tetsusaiga_, the name appeared in my head. I shook myself, trying to rid myself of the odd feeling. Kagome came up to me and hugged me; I could tell she could see how shaken I was.

"What was that?" I asked, my voice quavering slightly.

"That was the 'Wind Scar,'" she said, "your most basic attack. Can you remember anything?"

I shook my head. "Only snatches that don't make sense."

"That's okay," she said soothingly.

"What is that?" I asked, pointing to the sword on the ground.

"That is an heirloom blade forged from your sire's fan," a new voice spoke, and I felt a prick on my neck. I swatted at the bug.

"Myoga," I growled. "You, I remember."

Kagome laughed. "There's no love there."

"So Lord InuYasha doesn't remember anyone that he loves?"

"Or loved. The shard erased his heart. We still don't know exactly why that happened." Kagome had been filling Myoga in on everything that had been going on.

I sat in a position that seemed natural: cross-legged with Tetsusaiga on my lap. I growled, just to let everyone know I was still there. I didn't like being talked about as if I wasn't there.

"Well, there's only one reasonably possibility.

My ears pricked at Myoga's surprising words. _Could he know? How? _I needed to know why this had happened.

"Well," Myoga started to fidget. "Considering the loss of memory is so specific, and it came on so suddenly… and the shard wouldn't normally fiddle with love in particular…"

"Spit it out, bug!" I snarled.

"My Lord would have had to wish for it himself!"

I froze. One of the shards little hints popped unbidden into my head:_ ye yourself banished her from your memory. Tis not mine place to restore. _

"No," I said firmly, "why would I do that?"

"Erm, well…" Myoga raised his voice again, "I, um, have a theory about that, too."

"Well," I glowered furiously at the flea demon, "what is it?"

"Er… the only, um… idea that I have… and that's all it is, an idea, is that… well…" he gave a tiny shrug, "heartbreak."

I was speechless. I wanted to protest, but somehow I couldn't. There was a ring of truth in his words.

I felt Kagome begin to shake like an autumn leaf beside me. I glanced over at her; she was deathly pale, and her eyes were fixed on some distant point. I put a hand on her shoulder.

"Kagome? Kagome, what's wrong?"

"It makes sense," she whispered. "It makes perfect sense. I don't blame you for wishing us both away."

**(A/N) And in the next chapter, the truth will be revealed! **

**If you want a hint as to the next chapter, please review! Also, if anyone would be willing to beta this story… I would be very grateful! **


	17. Undoing

**(A/N) PLEASE READ. More important than my typical A/Ns. **

**First of all, I must apologize to anyone who's stuck with this fic. I must thank you and apologize. To be blunt, I've completely fallen out of the InuYasha fandom. I still like InuYasha, but more out of nostalgia than anything else, and so I lack the passion to write for it. However, I couldn't bear to leave this fanfic unfinished. **

**I'll be forever grateful to the whole fandom and all my wonderful readers within it. My IY fic "The Hanyou's Heart" was my first fanfic… *fondly remembers* So, in honor of that, I put everything I had into this ending. The original outline called for… six more chapters? But looking back at my handwritten drafts, I decided it would be better if I went out with a bang rather than torture both you guys and myself. This probably won't be up to par with what I would have originally written; although I feel my style and writing has improved, I've lost most of the knowledge I once possessed about the fandom, as well as most memory of this story. *sweatdrops* All I have to go on is my original drafts, and I'm squishing/rearranging those into an almost unrecognizable configuration. Please forgive me. **

**So yeah. That's about the gist of it. I really hope whoever's left enjoys this conclusion **_**to The Strength of the Heart**_**, and my grand exit from InuYasha fandom, with little or no intention to return. I thank you and the fandom for what you've done for me, and I bid you ado; may you encounter only good fortune on your road to destiny. **

I glanced nervously from Myoga to Kagome and back again; Miruko and Sango had looked away, and I suddenly felt horribly sick.

"Kagome, what is it?" I repeated, oddly tempted to laugh, in the unlikelihood this might all be a gigantic joke. "Kagome, what's going on?"

"Kikyo…" the girl began, then stopped, hunching her shoulders. I made a move to hold her, but was brushed away. "You loved Kikyo. Don't try to deny it," she said quickly, seeing my mouth open. "You loved her. You've admitted it to her and to me on several occasions. Now… just listen to me. You had fallen and hit your head; I was out gathering herbs when Kikyo came. She… she said that she knew a place to gather poppy seeds, to ease your pain. So I followed her."

"Kagome…" I tried to cut her off again, reaching forward to touch her hair. "I don't need to… you don't need to tell me about-"

"Let me!" she insisted, suddenly gripping my fingers. "Kikyo shot me there. I don't know why, and I decided that I wasn't… that I wouldn't tell you." She fell silent, then, and sighed. "I'm Kikyo's reincarnation," she admitted softly. "It wasn't fair… of either of us to do what we did. So all… I suppose all I can ask for is forgiveness."

I couldn't bring myself, in that moment, to do anything but pull her close to me, holding her to my chest. Miruko rose, suddenly, taking Sango's hand; I saw them leave out of the corner of my eye, taking Shippo with them, and made a note to thank the monk for his sensitivity.

"Kagome…" I whispered into her fragrant hair, "let's leave here. Let's go back to your world."

The girl stiffened, then pushed away from me slightly. "I-InuYasha…? But… but the jewel…! And Naraku! We can't just leave!"

I opened my mouth to object, but suddenly a scent brushed my nose. Startled, I bolted to my feet, bringing Kagome with me.

"I-Inu…?"

"It's _her_…!" I hissed. "Kagome, it's _her…_! The _witch _that shot you!" The hatred in my voice surprised even me, and I lurched forward suddenly, as if off balance. Grabbing the girl's wrist, I took off into the forest, nearly blind with emotion, following my nose alone.

"St-stop…!" Kagome was putting up some feeble resistance, pulling at my grip, digging her feet into the marshy ground. "InuYasha, no! Wh-what… what are you going to do?"

"I _need _to see her!" I snarled. "I need… revenge! She _hurt _you!"

Suddenly the girl was in a panic. "N-no! InuYasha, you can't kill Kikyo! You love Kikyo!"

Then there was no more time for argument, for the witch stood before us, her miko's clothing billowing out in the wind, her onyx hair contrasting beautifully with her pale, ivory skin. A sudden pain tore through my heart, fiercer than claws, and some long-dead ghost wrapped its cold fingers around me. Stumbling backwards, I glared furiously at the woman who could make me feel like this, the woman who smelled of the loveliest flowers yet stank of rotting bones and gravesoil.

"InuYasha…?" Her voice was surprised, yet… knowing. Smiling softly, she touched her lips with one finger, and I saw that she wore a smudge of color on them. "It seems… simple humanity still eludes us both."

Then I was running; I couldn't help it. I grabbed Kagome and fled, ripping a path through the undergrowth, hearing the miko's feather light footsteps as she pursued.

"Let's run away from here," I gasped out, startling Kagome. But there was a smile on my face. "Kagome, let's go back to your world. This isn't my world, not anymore; this isn't my war, with the Jewel and Naraku… it might have been, once, but now you're the only thing that matters. Kagome… let's run and never stop running."

Then, the painfully familiar shout.

"Die, InuYasha!"

And the dreaded thrum of the bowstring.

And the sickening thud in my chest, the sound I heard a moment before the pain struck me, my hand ripped from Kagome's.

My back struck the trunk of…

_the Sacred Tree. _

an old oak.

And Kikyo shouted…

"… _The Shikon Jewel… for such a thing…!" _

"You'll come to Hell with me, InuYasha, as is your destiny!"

A satisfied smirk crossed my face as my vision faded. _There… you are… my memories… _

… … …

When I came too, it was to the sound of Kagome's screaming.

It was the most horrible sound I had ever heard, far worse than anything in my vast library of memories.

Struggling to open my eyes, I felt the arrow that weighed heavily in my breastbone, keeping me trapped there against the tree. Kagome lay on the ground, a few feet from me, and Kikyo above her, the later woman's gaze fixed on me.

"Awake, dear?" she asked softly, reaching out to touch my face; I cringed away from her icy fingers, but couldn't avoid them. "We'll get going in just a minute. Just as soon as I take care of this one lingering attachment."

Writhing madly, I felt the arrow and spell press down on my chest with an unearthly power. "Don't touch Kagome!" I spat, though it was more painful to yell at her with my memories back.

"If it means keeping your heart…" the miko whispered, and then bent, pressing the tip of an arrow to Kagome's throat. "I'll slit her throat. Then you'll be mine, and I'll be yours… for all eternity."

A sudden sense of urgency overcame me, and I wrenched one arm free of the binding spell, grabbing a fistful of Kikyo's hair and pulling her away from Kagome; the woman shrieked, but I didn't let go, suddenly convinced of one truth in the whole messed up world. Just one.

"You are _not _Kikyo."

As I growled those words, the golem's spell lost its potency, and I dropped lightly to the ground, pulling the arrow from my breast and snapping it easily in two. The thing that called herself Kikyo took a step backward, although my fingers were still tangled in its hair.

"Wh-what can you mean?" it asked, voice tenuous. "InuYasha, you're mine; I'm yours."

I shook my head, slowly, suddenly relaxed and certain. "No… Kikyo would not do this. Not my Kikyo. My Kikyo is… no longer here." Reaching deftly inside the sham body, plunging my hand into its chest, I seized what held its soul in place. The creature looked at me in sudden terror, but again I shook my head.

"One day, I'll meet the real Kikyo again. But you're not her, and I won't be leaving Kagome any time soon."

Then the bones and gravesoil were piling at my feet, running like sand through my clawed fingers as I watched the golem expire; then I turned to Kagome, who was living and beautiful and undoubtedly the love of my life- this life, at least.

"Kagome…"

Pulling her into my lap, I watched her eyes flutter open.

"Inu… Yasha…?"

I nodded, lifting her gently onto my back. "Let's go. We should get back to Miruko and Sango; back to fighting Naraku."

I felt her stiffen. "You…? Inu…?"

I cut her off with a gruff, "Yep," trotting easily through the woods. I felt her turn on my back; felt her catch her breath at the sight of what we left behind.

"InuYasha!"

"That thing was _not _Kikyo," I spat, annoyed by her horrified tone, then added in a softer voice, "and even if it had been, I wouldn't have let it hurt you."

I was pleased when she relaxed, leaning in and pressing her face into my hair. "Thank you, InuYasha. It must be… hard."

I shook my head, denial an instinct. "It wasn't Kikyo."

"You're still losing her, regardless."

I didn't allow myself to pause. "But I have you."

"Always." The certainty in her voice soothed me, and suddenly, inexplicably, I found myself smiling.

"I'll hold you to that, wench."

_**THE END**_

**(A/N) And so it come to an end. :') Please leave a review; it would really make my day. **

**PS There is a small glimmer of hope that I'll make one more appearance in the fandom- your response to this last chapter will likely decide if I put effort into this plot bunny or leave it to die. **


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